Do you know about - A Male Perspective on pregnancy Loss and the Techniques to Move on Successfully
Getting An Abortion! Again, for I know. Ready to share new things that are useful. You and your friends.At 17 weeks we lost our puny angel
What I said. It is not outcome that the real about Getting An Abortion. You see this article for facts about that wish to know is Getting An Abortion.How is A Male Perspective on pregnancy Loss and the Techniques to Move on Successfully
My wife and I went to school together in elementary school and started high school not long after. We we're never a join but both of our best friends at the time were together so most were surprised that we never "hooked up". I would look at her when we were just kids and time would slow down and sounds would fade except for the sound of my own heart. I was a disgruntled child to say the least so I pushed those silly feelings aside because I was all the time looking on the horizon for what I needed to do next and at last moved away and never heard from her again...so I thought.
I joined the military in 1997 hoping to travel the world and do things that my friends growing up only dreamed of doing and I did just that. It was my second tour to Afghanistan and by this time I traded in my dangerous Infantry days and became a technician in the military supporting the people I once was. I felt that once I done something it was time to move on and try something new. After a 12hr shift at camp I settled in for the night and decided to check in on my Facebook list to see up was up with my old friends when I noticed I had a friend request. I opened the ask and there she was. Time seemed to stop, all the noise of the camp faded away and I was fixated on this photograph of a girl I once knew. I a singular breath I said out loud that this is the girl I need to marry. Coming from me that was a shocker to hear and soon we began talking non-stop online and on the phone. The rest was a whirl wind affair trying to get my ducks in a row to move anywhere this woman was in the world. Though the rest was rather involved and an spectacular, chance of luck I ended up getting posted to the city that she was in. We moved in and decided to start making a family.
Her excitement was awe-inspiring when she found out she was pregnant as she never thought it was potential to find anything that she would want a child with once I moved so long ago. Me being a pessimist, I was reluctant to tell anything "just in case" something happened. We rented a heart monitor and listened everyday to the puny life growing inside her. At 17 weeks, just days after, we told everybody we no longer could find the heart beat. Praying that is was just us we went to the doctor. I reconsider myself a rather inspiring someone and when the doctor could not find it whether I looked at his face and knew exactly what he was thinking. He sent us for an ultrasound, I was retention the love of my life's hand as she looked at me I was looking at the monitor and I could see plain as day the ultrasound of my puny baby lying limp and not moving. The tech could barely speak and told us wait and she would get the doctor. It was a painful moment looking into my wife's eyes and giving her the look that things were not ok. As a man I want to fix the situation as fast as potential so we can begin to heal but that is not the case in these situations. Selection 1 is for the hospital to induce, which will cause you to "pass the fetal remains" as they put it. Selection 2, D and C. My wife did not want to go straight through a potential 30 hours of delivery only to pass remains so a D and C was the only Selection for her. Complication... At 17 weeks hospitals can not perform a D and C and only one place is qualified for such a procedure, the abortion clinic. Dec 20 1000hrs we arrived at the abortion clinic 4 days after looking out we lost our baby. How my wife made it 4 days I will never know, as a man I can't even comprehend carrying around a dead fetus for that long but in a way I think it gave her relieve to know we still had it with us. We even laughed while watching 2 and a half men which makes it all seem so weird. In the clinic it was filled with people who were choosing to end there pregnancy. We are both pro-choice people but when you want a child and can't and you see others who can and don't its hard not to get upset. I'll spare you the details on the procedure but I don't wish it upon my worst enemy, it will humble you in a way that I never thought possible. I never thought it potential that I could cry so much as a grown adult. It was a girl.
Ok... Ok so your wondering how to get over such a devastating loss. Well there are a few techniques I found very use:
First... Don't try to relate
As a male and knowing nothing about what it is like to carry a life inside you, never try to relate. Just accept they are great than males and have a lot of unknown chemicals floating in their bodies that we can't pronounce.
Second.. .Watch your tone and wording.
Pick your times wisely to show your emotions. You will be the target of her anger, she has no other outlet. If and when she chooses to lose her temper she has an excuse down the road to blame it on the hormones... You do not. So you need to comprehend that there are all the time consequences for your actions and this includes harsh words. Never blame her ever, even if you feel like saying in the heat of a fight.
Third... Humble yourself to the situation.
You may be an expert, or at least think you are in your current job but in this world you are along for the ride. Accept that everybody around you known's great and take all the guidance you can.
Forth... Keep busy.
For this I mean the male. Work hard by getting all the house work done as fast and efficiently as possible. This means shovelling, mowing grass. This helps relieve stress for you and won't cause a friction with your emotional wife as nothing you're doing appears to be selfish in nature. Trust me this will be noticed later in life.
Fifth... Don't protection her or those around you.
Do Not stress that everybody at work will ask you if you've had the baby yet. Talk to each other what you're going to say in awkward situations. someone may ask her when she is due if she still looks big but this is all about you guys so just Say It. In a nice way of course. Tell a few key people in the family and at work that can relay your situation. You will all the time run into that neighbour that will ask you a year later how the baby is doing so just expect it and tell them. I all the time just say he same thing, "O yeah.... We as a matter of fact lost the baby at 17 weeks but are doing much great now"
They will be uncomfortable so you should end it with that "you're doing ok" so you don't make them feel too bad for asking.
And then
3 months later we are pregnant again...
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